An Open Letter To My First Ever Visitor Outside The Operating Theatre - My dad.

My dearest daddy,

With Father's Day approaching in an hour or two, I would like to take few moments from you to acknowledge my never-ending gratitude for all that you have done and continue to do for me.

You have been the first in my life to love me to bits and also teach me what self-giving is all about.

Anybody can become a biological father at twenty four, but being a dad isn't a cakewalk. A dad creates immense impact on his daughter's life and his actions leave a split image of himself on her mind for the decades to come. At times it has been hard for me too, to overcome that so 'close to-perfect' impression of yours that I had been looking out for to reflect in other men all these years. I know, no dad is perfect, yet you have played and justified your mantle in a manner that has considerably swept me off my feet. 

I can't remember a phase in my life when you haven't been there - as my best friend as well as my greatest protector. It goes without saying, withstanding my favorite cheesy Bollywood movies from the late eighties and early nineties must have been excruciatingly painful, and that you would rather prefer watching the cricket match then. You took it all to your stride possibly because I had to learn the most powerful life lesson from this episode - When you love someone unconditionally, you start accepting everything about that person, solely owing to the fact that the love overpowers your personal likes and dislikes. 

From guiding me how to stand on my own feet and ride a bicycle side by side of you, as you rode your bike through the dense tea plantations, I know, it did hurt you every time I fell off my seat and the heap of coals in front of the factory often chafed my little palm. A father, once, undertakes the oath of safeguarding his daughter through thick and thin, he also has to muster the art of loosening his grip on his little girl's pace. He trains her in self-defense and self-assertion. That is exactly what you did, yet never missed a chance to keep a constant watch on my footsteps. As my fondness for the Cinderella tale kept growing, you also familiarized me with 'The Old Man and the Sea'. While I thoroughly enjoyed remaining a Barbie girl in the Barbie world, you prepared me for the inevitability of those upcoming challenges of life through your narration of many such anecdotes. You ensured that I just do not end up cocooned within my house of cards and worse than vulnerable in any circumstance that could be volatile and a sheer test my strength. 

When I started my schooling, I wanted you there all the time next to me. When mum got me refreshments during recess, I looked forward to a surprise visit from you. Those were the days you were located in a faraway land yet you never compromised on your role of my personal tutor. Be it literature, mathematics or the theories on dissecting the peas in the study of Life Science, I guess I can state that you have been ceaselessly coaching me for the class internals and the bigger examinations to be taken later in life. 

Whether it was a school play, sporting event, annual functions marking my progress in facing the audience and performing arts in form of classical dance or reciting a self-composed literary piece, to be precise, any defining moment in my life, you’ve always been the first amongst my biggest fans, simultaneously, my biggest critic. Every single time I come to a halt, I hope I make you proud with my chin up.

 There have been times when I just wanted to take the leap and prove you wrong since you chose to be deeply skeptical. I remember on asking your opinion on guys, knowing deep down I won’t be able to commit without your approval, you'll at first, put a bug in my ear about all the probabilities, and then allow me to set my foot in wherever I wanted to be and whatever I wanted to do. 

I might have failed to decipher your ardent penchant for following those post-dinner socio-political debates, but those were the times I needed to call you the maximum number of times to discuss and resolve issues at work. Not that you cared less about fashion, it certainly might not have been a soft spot for you to listen to my fetish for different nail arts and then receive an image of the same every now and then via Blackberry messenger. 

My eyes bugged out when you suggested that I wear less make-up. But sooner I realized why you did so - I knew it was because you wanted the world to see my inner beauty. At times it was awkward when you demanded me to invite my date over for a cup of coffee with you just before I stepped out with him, but now I understand you simply wanted to make sure I was in good hands.

As much as I want to thank you, I also want to apologize for any grey hairs I have caused you in the past. Now that you have got me settled and secure in care of a dutiful and doting man half your age, but possessing attributes similar to those of yours, I hope to render a dad like mine to the little heart when I become a mom. At the same time I can't deny there’s still a long future ahead of me screwing up and running to you for help. Thanks to the Apple device that connects me to you in a long distance counseling session. Also, please do not be annoyed when I ask your views a couple of years down the line on my dealings in a Parents'-Teacher's meeting in case of a highly mischievous two-legged mini devil. When it comes down to it, you know how much your approval and guidelines mean to me. Love you to the moon and back! Thank you for being my daddy.

Yours sincerely,

daddy's little princess. 

 

School Of Hard Knocks

There's this pepper spray, and there's this detrimental self-confidence that gives you the super power to stand up for what you think is correct. The icing on the cake is when you know you have the most important person in your life always by your side and he's ready to hold your hand come what may. Last evening was no exception for the extremely benevolent and supportive man of the house and his unshakable trust in me. Likewise, it was an usual but the first ever post-tying-the-knot scenario for his no-nonsense and docility defiant wife, considering the number of times she, in her past, had to initially juggle between - 'to raise my voice' or 'just let go' and finally settle with yielding to what has been more challenging but satisfying too; notwithstanding a certain amount of concomitant perturbation that it irrefutably brought along. Arrghh...All 'buy one get one free' offers aren't as enticing as you expect it to be!

The social hierarchy that we are ensnared in, is a radical jeopardy in itself and the structure is as complex as a cobweb wherein a constant struggle of superiority, supremacy and dominion plays the pivotal role in dividing one from another. Some  assume that we can get away with an unruly approach, go on an audacious binge, unnerve the rest of the world with their track record of vandalism; and we also meet some, who are inherently or circumstantially meant to adhere to the falsified notion of - the higher degree of atrocity you show, the more you win! The other class of people are those who majorly reflect upon the positivity that they spread amongst their fellow humans and the sanctity that keeps their feet firm on the ground and helps them stay contented with themselves. The wisdom and polish that has been inculcated in them for years now is what frees them from all shackles or possible baggage. Irrespective of where you come from, what you do and how different you are from them - more often than not they go out of their way to be generous with you and treat you with due respect. On contrary, a disposition of the former kind understands just one language - that of the lawman and his paddy wagon once things simply go haywire!!

So yes. Sometimes you need to learn to cut the cord as your doting momy reminds you every time you step out - not to get into a brawl for the sake of your own safety and dignity. And that's probably what I out dared time and again of course making her suffer the heap of concerns of having the only daughter surviving in a far away land, in a state that tops in the list of crime rates against women. However, those were the bygone days. So yippee! 

Well, to proceed with the narration - It's 23:00 hours, and we park the car. Half drenched, we  make way to our frequently visited joint fairly salivating at the idea of ordering something that will be a sheer boost for us to hit the gym even harder. Oh wait! What we receive is few nasty gesticulations at our entry into the restaurant, an untoward eye contact with the ganged hooligans blocking a corner table and what follows is my utmost resistance and ignorance (as long as I could hold on to it). To be brutally truthful, however provoking it may be, inviting a storm in a glass of water refuses to agree with me when I'm hungry and when the appetite can surely be saved for a gastronomical indulgence later. At the same time keeping my eyes peeled for any further filth directed at our table also remains my prerogative. Ironically, ours are the only two tables occupied and the prevalent quietude gives way to all the audible muck that befouls the ambience and the mood for some lip smacking pancakes dipped in pecan and strawberry syrup. 

23:20 hrs - The husband at his humblest best offers a couple of other options for desserts which means leaving the spot in the middle of the show and ahhh how could I miss that? As the ruckus continues and what immediately pops is the man suggesting that he would leave a feedback with the waiter, and also go up to speak to them in case I want him to, which for obvious reasons leaves me into a rather restless state as the conventional twist into the episode doesn't seem to hold much thrill for me. By then I'm sure he knows the wifey is unstoppable and nothing on earth can pacify her now other than an apology from the bunch of shadyasses.

23:30 hrs - As I do what my conscience guides me to do, I walk up to their table only to shower them with the sweetest of pleasantries. Guilt conscious as they might have been, and certainly taken aback by my sudden arrival disrupting the blab, they start dropping hints at each other hopelessly failing to take it easy in my presence. Here's a grab of what my piece of mind might have sounded like - 'Hey beautiful ladies! How are ya guys doing today? Hmmm...As I can see that you have been waiting for your meals and had to somehow kill the time meanwhile, you chose to have fun at the serious cost of disturbing other guests. Now that you are about to dig into the yummy food I wouldn't take much of your time yet I request you to mend your ways in future and be a little more discreet about all the crap talk you take pleasure in and the offensive behavior that you must be excelled in. If you know what I mean.....

Some repugnant reflexes accompanied by an outright denial and a gradual display of violent body language and verbal abuse is all that I have in store which I am absolutely prepared for. As bad as it can get to have my partner in crime involved in it, he's not one of those to submit to anything unjust and unacceptable. He dutifully plays his role of giving a few choicest expletives back and pulls me out of the diner and gets me inside the car.

23:50 hrs - Voila! That doesn't end here. There is always an option to dial in 911 when the next step to dealing with such vindictive, ungovernable brutes (dressed as civilized) doesn't spin through your mind, moreover, when you have been deprived of those dollop servings of hot butter and whipped cream on your pancakes on a heavily rainy evening. So here waits Mr. Vasu Mallik's Maroon Honda CRV at the parking lot and here comes a lady officer in her cruiser to do the needful.

Moral of the story - Like sometimes we have to abandon our dearest MSG-enriched 'two minutes Maggi-Noodle' and detach ourselves from all the nostalgia that this small yellow pack of refined flour has intertwined in itself for ages, we at times also need to leave our favorite haunts to steer clear off anything that affects our mental tranquility. It goes without mentioning - like every little pot has a fitting lid, you ought to be the one to look for that lid for yourself. With the passage of time and evolution, we, the sophisticated Homo-Sapiens are more transformed now and endowed with much more beyond a fully functional brain and two sets of limbs. We aren't merely born and raised to stand the strain but also to remain strong enough and stick up for our self proclamation. We have had others doing it for us for long but we can't afford to be counted upon as susceptible protégés forever. The pathway is going  be a school of hard knocks for sure, but it's worth all the labor. And each time life tries knocking you down, all you do is - Keep calm and be assertive. And every time you emerge as a champion, you again keep calm and enjoy the pancakes.