Monday, March 13, 2017

How contemporary Feminism has become a burden and must be once in a while laid down.






Off late, a paroxysm of insularity revolving around the subject of Feminism is seen doing rounds. Whenever someone shares an opinion and it doesn’t subscribe to the general frenzy that the rest of the society is unduly enthusiastic about, why do we try our best to tear that person apart along with that particular viewpoint? Those who are in the habit of supposedly defending feminism by dint of failing to comprehend a certain opinion need to get off their high horses and hang loose. Feminism is about diverse choices and cannot be measured by the yardstick of one definitive elucidation etched out in the mind.



 Why do we keep forgetting that Feminism is nobody’s patrimony, it is a temperament which is still in the realm of speculation? For decades, women have been fighting for the unalloyed credence to being allowed the same rights, power, opportunities and respect as men. Any society that treats its women without prejudice is on the path of progress. It is only then, the state can achieve its’ set of desired goals – politically, socially and economically. Should we all not be eternally grateful to those brave souls before us who fought for our rights instead of judging each others' perspectives?





 It is not about muscle power. It is about brain over brawn. It is not about staying cocooned inside your pseudo feminist boxes and putting other women or men down on the whole – and thus seek elevation in your own stature. It is rather, enabling each other to ascertain the true meaning of freedom and equality for all. It is the realization in itself that your environment entitles you to make your free choices by means of holding a fair and unbiased approach in every aspect of life – be it the religious beliefs you abide by, the health decisions that you choose to make or the salary that you earn. 

 

Ironically, like every now and then a notion is tweaked, rather misconstrued, Femi fascists too tend to hinge on whether or not women as a race can have power over men. What is forgotten time and again is, it is not a quest for demeaning each other, but empowering themselves, wanting their gender to be treated like proud human beings. Currently, there is no dearth of misandrists in the name of feminists in the making, who are more than glad to bear the label of women who perpetually hate men. Forsooth, patriarchy is exhausting, but is it worse than the impediments that we create among ourselves by ripping each other to shreds? Give it a thought. Feminism isn't just about sticking sanitary napkins with small notes attached to it all over the college campus and ranting awareness of rape and sexism. Feminist isn't about posting pictures of your blood soaked tampons on Instagram to obtain millions of followers. It is about breaking free from the shackles of age old regressive ideals that define femininity, marriage and motherhood. Slogans are spotted, placards are planted everywhere – meanwhile, the core values that we are striving for, are compromised, stumped over and buried somewhere deep down the streets.  Like those bulls in a fight that are color blind, we also engage our girls in a helter-skelter battle. But wait battle of what? Have we wondered what are we fighting for? 


The very choice that we all get to make today, is an outcome of the sweat and blood that has been invested for years. We must not overlook the trauma, the hurdles and the hardship that our torchbearers have been through to get us here today. We are gifted with the freedom to choose our identities wisely and let our voice be heard through actions that reflect dignity and maturity. We stand different in our agenda - in the very essence that we wish to accept the equality of both sexes in lieu of mindless misanthropy. 


 Whether to juggle between our career and household, whether to stay home bound – it's a very personal choice that one gets to make when one knows how to set the priorities right. You might be an entrepreneur or a freelance or even single not pursuing anything – at the end of the day, we all are women and mothers. The method one chooses to follow might not align with someone else's, but that doesn't mean they aren't doing their jobs as a wife or a mother. On the contrary, the nature of challenges women who are responsible for two third of the work done worldwide, come across are varying. After all the toil they might still earn only ten percent of the total income and own one percent of the property! So, where is equality? Across all cultures and nations, first to third world, women are still lagging behind men in opportunities and access to resources, even while judged within the values of their home culture. Where is equitable judgment then? 


The fact is, half the time we aren't aware of what struggles someone is going through. The maternal instincts may not let you leave your child behind at the daycare even for an hour, but when you fall in the category of that ratio of women with children, who are also the primary bread earners in the family, you expect your tribe to be slightly more empathetic and refrain from using words like irresponsible and negligent. Furthermore, those who deliberately and willfully settle for a homemaker’s lifestyle that works for them, must not be shamed as less qualified or disregarded as professionally incompetent. Fortunate are the ones who get to opt between the two worlds because they at least have the liberty to prefer and prioritize one over the other. 


Having friends, associates and relatives from all sectors and backgrounds, your knowledge and experience are instrumental in broadening your outlook and learning not to narrow down your visions. The manifestations of Feminism and Empowerment are more often than not complex, volatile sometimes burdensome – always comes with a heavy price. And yes, just like a Princess Diana, a Michelle Obama, and a Hillary Clinton, we do not believe in playing the woman card and get to the front leader’s seat. We haven't learned to play the victim card either, when names such as Oprah Winfrey are there to inspire us. Each one of these amazing ladies has been a mother, has endured grave losses, yet remained their own boss and shone through the darkest of clouds. The way they have balanced between children, work and personal life is fascinating. I am glad I live in a country whose seventy five percent of the population share the sensibility that a stay at home mother can provide the best for their children when they are young, at the same time, doesn’t cringe away from offering its women equal opportunities that ultimately makes significant contributions to the nation’s economy. It's all about respecting every individual’s choice - acknowledging their dreams and potentials - and being more compassionate towards helping them materialize into reality.








Monday, February 13, 2017

A Letter To My Valentine For Life







 Dearest UV,

I have probably not told you this before - that as a gawky teenager, it took me a while to fathom what Valentine’s Day was all about. I always saw girls in my school sharing love letters with their favorite senior guys throughout the year and an extra rose on “Propose Day” which made very little sense to me. Finally when it used to be 14th of Feb, everyone would be bunking classes in order to spend time with the most sought after girl or boy initially at the canteen and for a romantic escapade thereafter. 


As I grew up, I realized I have been saving up piles of letters, gifts and bunches of love cards over the years that couldn’t find and reach the right person, as I simply failed to spot the face and the heart I was looking for amidst the crowd. Today, I regret not preserving those silly little hand written notes and hand drawn hearts well enough, so that I could hand them over to you. I truly miss doing that.


Till date, I do not understand the concept of picking out one single day in a year in order to express love and not making the best of the rest 364 days. This definitely goes for only those who live by such theories and I do not intend to offend anyone who choose to observe and glorify love that way. It’s just that I do not wish to be counted among those who are missing out on a single day, minute or second to let the love of their life know – what he or she means to them. If I could, I would have added one more day to the calendar and made up for all those times I couldn’t be with you. If I could, I would have also asked the Almighty to grant me one additional day for each year that I am yet to live on earth, so that I can compensate for all those things I couldn’t do for and all those gestures I couldn't show to my loved ones. If you find me more sensitive, more thoughtful, more family oriented and more giving today, you are the reason love! If I have learned to think and perceive the good things in life this way, I owe it all to you! This is what you have done to me and I am ever so grateful to you for coming into my life as a blessing from above.


 Even though I’m unsure of a lot of things in life I am certain that I love you and will continue to love you forever. With each passing year, my respect for the person that you are is deepening more and more, and I believe, you are a gift of a lifetime in the entire family that is blown away by your charismatic personality, golden heart, extremely caring and dutiful nature. The way you have been looking after each and every elderly member in our lives reflects the core values that you swear by. Your popularity within the young lot goes beyond any illustration and I cherish the fact that you have turned out to be more of a son, a real brother and a true friend for those who matter the most to me. 


Dear, to put in words the love that I feel for you and how much I crave your presence when you are not around is quite a challenge. This day is certainly not enough to tell you how rare and special you are. Loving you, knowing you and growing up with you have been a journey of transformation for me. You changed me for the better and molded me into the strong, confident, calmer and contented person that I am today. You always bring out the best in me and I am immensely moved by your selflessness – the way you think of others before yourself who truly mean to you. You are the reason I wake every morning with a smile on my face. You spread joy and positivity into my mundane life. The very fact that I have YOU to fall back on, cuddle with at the end of the day, rest my head on to your shoulder and get pampered like a toddler who is missing her home and family – makes this life worth living and celebrating every day. I love you and always will as my significant other, my best friend, my guardian, my guide and my partner in all sorts of crimes that the world better not come to know of. Lol! Happy Valentine’s Day baby! Keep shining bright and continue to love me the way you do. I promise to bug you, love you, kiss you, hug you and drive you nuts for the next hundreds of births.  

Lovingly yours,
Ushasi.