Past two weeks have truly been a grounding time for the
entire humanity. Too often we underestimate the power of compassion and the
belief in coexisting with nature. This phase of self isolation has taught me,
rather is still teaching me some of the most crucial things about life that are
beyond what we consider as essential for our survival. The atrocities of Covid
19 has gifted us with a clearer sky, left us with less cars, less planes, and
subsequently less pollution. Our stress, panic and constant intolerance to
acclimate to the new way of being has also blessed our environment with a spin
off effect to slowly heal itself. I have not been waking up to the noisy
vehicles on our busy downtown Toronto streets nowadays, but solely looking out
for the peeping sun through our blacked out bedroom windows. This in itself is
hope.
The uncertainty while picking up groceries - what if the
current stock of fruits and vegetables doesn’t last us until everything is
replenished again, is a reminder that nothing is forever. I don’t know why but
I tend to value every little detail way more than I ever did. I do not have a
child or an older member at home who are at a higher health risk but my concern
and alertness revolving around my husband’s and my own health has redoubled. I
do not eat meat or chicken, but I ensure spending more time in the kitchen thawing,
washing, cleaning and cooking them to perfection for the one I love. Earlier,
with my crazy schedule I have been self-absorbed and somewhat ignorant of how
someone else is continuously toiling over making my life smooth and easy at the
cost of their own safety. Too often we forget to show our gratitude to these
real heroes providing frontline services who don’t wear a superman’s cape but undoubtedly
a shield of sheer courage. Many a times when we complaint about life being
imperfect, we tend to overlook the grave reality of how it has never been easy
for some. Comparatively I always had, and still manage to have it better than
most do in certain conditions. My heart swells in pride to call the brave guy
at the front desk of my apartment an acquaintance that never misses to drop a
smile at me despite these difficult times. I have realized that I might have
been selfish too, since I have the privilege to sit at home and write emails
yet crib to my husband how I miss going out for a movie. On the contrary, my
front desk friend has no choice but to get exposed outside and take a train
back home to Mississauga. During this time I am regrouping my thoughts over how
I perceive life and the various scenarios that many of us must go through and a
lot of us don’t have to. Equality and kindness are two absolutely basic traits
that keep us humble and connected to each other. But many a times, that feeling
of belonging to one another goes lacking in our day to day journey.
Last couple of weeks have brought a strange sense of peace
and joy helping my husband run the washer and drier multiple times, making beds
together and cleaning the whole house. I feel these boons of being entitled to
receive a few weekly services; had made us way too dependent on other people
for our own comfort. We were so helplessly crippled amidst all the work load and
managing our time, that we started devaluing our own capabilities. Being pushed
to our limits now and owing to the current compulsions, we do not have cleaners
coming into the house anymore and on a brighter side, I actually like our bed
better with the tad bit faultily done sheets.
I have always loved being home and spending more time with family
where as the husband is keener on going out. Now unfortunately, he is left with
no option for weekend date nights at The Keg Steakhouse or Copacabana. So we are convinced
to stay limited within our mental globes and conveniently travel across our
living area to the dining space for a romantic self cooked candle light dinner.
And the bonus happens to be; our imaginations also spare us from the traffic
and the cops on guard around the Scotia Bank Arena that used to be mercilessly compromising
on our personal time. It’s ironical how we brood over not having enough time to
read, meditate, work out and catch up with friends and relations in normal
times. Now that self isolation is the only way, we want to step out and do
everything that we aren’t supposed to. I know it’s not just me but also many
like me who have been taking these as granted and have barely been thankful for
the fact that these are actually luxuries and not necessities but have steadily
and perpetually become a part of our lifestyle.
I don’t know about others but I have started counting my
blessings that the gyms are closed now and will remain so for god knows how
long! I feel fortunate enough that my parents raised me to have a sound health
that can still gather the strength and stamina in my thirties to use the
basement staircase of my building for a jump, climb and squat session. The
truth is, I do not require a treadmill to stay fit. This phase has been like a
savior for my natural and real self too. Additional time invested in
introspecting and reflecting has predominantly helped boost the overall health
of my skin and hair as well as my immune system. Due to long shoots and extended
working hours I would have to dress up all the time, show up in perfect hair
and makeup which happens to be an integral part of my job and I absolutely love
what I do but at the same time there’s a need at times to slow down, take a
break and let your inner self breathe. Too often our jobs condition us in a way
particularly if one belongs to the showbiz or to put it in other words - the
world of glamour, that we always need to be in the public glare and more often
than not get scrutinized too. I never knew how refreshing it could be to spend
your days in pajamas or kaftans. I also chipped one of my nails the other day that
I can’t fix until the nail salons open up again but that is completely ok.
These messy hair days with no styling and the afternoons that I spend lathering
some of the purest ingredients traditionally recommended by the moms and grand
moms followed through generations are things that I look forward to. The
unsurety of returning to this phase again makes me fall in love with the
present all the more.
The freedom of not making any plans and the anxiety of
failing to avail them could be so very liberating. While I have been submerged in
making the grade all this while, I have too often missed on the simple
pleasures of reaching out to every member in my family. These days have been
the most gratifying in terms of speaking to all those matter daily. In these
vulnerable moments of hunting for millions of masks, gallons of hand sanitizers
and with the unprecedented deaths happening across the planet, it’s important
to take a note of what this process sums up to each one of us. I consider
myself lucky that I am still surviving this. If you are too, it is faith, hope,
patience and determination that have kept you going.
Life is fragile, cherish it. Learn to crash down the man
made belief that negativity is more realistic. In such hapless times it is your
own choices that appear as the most prominent voice in your head. If you let it
sink into the realm of nothingness, the lockdown shall conquer as permanent. I
urge everyone to stay home, stay safe. But keep praying. The positive energy of
coming together turns the sky eventually bluer and to quote Paulo Coelho, “all
the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”.
