Omar, you don’t know me. And I am definitely not one
of those victims of your firearm. I am not one of those blessed survivors either,
who narrowly escaped your detestation on the jinxed day of Orlando mass
shooting last weekend. And to conclude, I am not a lesbian. My husband is not a
gay. However, we do have friends whose sexual orientations are different from
ours. Our brothers, sisters, mothers, sons and partners have bitten
the dust prematurely and some of them have managed to make a run for it during the rampage. But does it
really matter? Does it really make sense to ponder over which community,
religion, race and color they came from? Not really. What matters is the
heartbreaking fact that they are gone. What keeps tormenting are the flashes of
bullets sniped into bodies and the dance floor smeared in a pool of blood. Do
you know those who entered the pub that night in a celebratory spirit, danced
Salsa to the tunes of a strange destiny? Do you know how nobody had a clue that
they wouldn’t be able to meet their plans for the coming week? And for those,
who made it only till the ambulance, were unaware that they were granted hardly a few
more minutes of breath after losing their friends in the face of your sig sauer
mcx, the deadly weapon.
Be it a domestic crime, or a well plotted terror
attack – every time an evil occurs, it’s a pound of flesh that is excavated from mankind. Every time we see and hear stories of deaths and destruction due
to genocide surfacing on the media, we lose a tiny piece of faith in
humanity. The degree of brutality and psychopathy that you have given yourself
a free rein to through your actions simply throttles me. Neither you were a
lone wolf lunging inside your caged up insanity nor was the attack an isolated event
pointing at the manifestations of your abomination towards the gay pride. Your
attack was a fierce blow on humanity as a whole and a reflection of your own
egoistical insecurities about how the power of love and equality can not only imperil but also wipe out all roots of hatred and terror.
For last couple of nights, I have been sleep deprived,
I keep getting panic attacks of someone breaking inside our house and gunning
me down pointblank. I am mostly dazed, keep visiting the restroom like a
zombie, splash some water on my face, only to reaffirm that I do exist and that
your lethal shots haven’t left the mirror cracked as yet. The visualizations of
those panic stricken innocent lives rushing hither and thither, the vivid
images of your unimaginable and unsparing slaughter, the gory scenes of bodies piled up of the dead and the injured – all of it nauseates me in a binge of
anger and frustration that it could be any one of us. It could be any of our
loved ones.
But today Omar, I shall not let my conscience respond
to your unbounded hate with equivalent hate. I would gather all my strength to
reassure my shaken up trust in love and compassion. It’s time to unite as
people, as a nation and the entire human race. It's time to reinforce our trust in Good
Lord’s Mercy and pledge to restore the lost harmony.
As one of the fortunate survivors has shared his
horrific account, I quote him saying – “Saturday night was Latin night, and it
was a party vibe because of the Puerto Rican Day Parade. It was a hot night,
and the club was filled with life and love and dancing and — until you arrived
— pure joy.” The very reference to the holocaust you have caused sends
shivers down the spine and I can’t even put my mind to envision the gravity of
shock and grief this young boy must have been through owing to your radical
zealotry! It cuts me deep to even think of how helpless Eddie, one of the
victims of your barbaric stunt must have been, while locked up inside the
bathroom as you went on to open fire and kill one life after another. Those
text messages written by Eddie to his bereaved mother is a testimony of what we
have grown up perceiving in movies can also turn true. We have known films like
“Kurbaan” (2009) and “New York” (2009) being made to convey a message that portrays Islam and
terrorism in a poor light, but little did we know that such incredibly
frenzied people like you actually subsist on the international soil to exploit
it as a seedbed for fear psychosis and these series of heinous crimes.
Now, everyone is talking about what triggered you to
massacre so many beautiful lives. Everyone is trying to find out a reason why
did you have your heart filled with so much abhorrence? Is it that your ideals
are an absolute discord with what makes us strong? This country and its
backbone firm? Is it that love among people intimidates you or simply that
you never possessed it on your own while your basic values and fundamentals were
embedding? Yes, that’s the whole point. You must not have found acceptance for
yourself and have possibly been denuded of the tremendous amount of love and
empathy that calls for eradicating aversion and consequent vengeance of this
extent.
May I ask you exactly which aspect about these people in love with each other was
bothering you? What was it that had to be dealt with arms and not understanding or a peaceful coexistence of two drastically opposite ethnic groups? But you
know what, you haven’t conquered at all. You have been a complete failure in
inciting discrimination among us. You may have slain Forty-nine lives
(excluding your own, as your departure analytically doesn’t matter to those who
are suffering so deeply, but surely it does to your family, as they have no other choice but to take you for who you were) and fifty more may have been left with
their inner scar for the rest of their lives that will be haunted by the horror
of this aftermath, but you certainly haven’t succeeded in annihilating what you
had predominantly targeted at. To diminish love. To permanently ravish our
pride and joy. That is the only saving grace which is going to immortalize
these endearing souls. What makes them distinct from and more human than you are
that their saving grace has never touched you. Or maybe, it did, but your
personal battles with those ungoverned emotions superseded everything. Your
case is a miserable one, one of another disgruntled soul deprived of acceptance
and tolerance who just couldn’t receive and treasure such precious gift of love.
You just couldn’t break free from the dark and gloomy barriers of dejection and
despondency that is slowly unfurling itself and marks your identity now. Your attempts
to destroy what makes humanity most powerful and giving are futile and that’s
what makes you a coward. When you professed allegiance with ISIS and various
other Islamic militant groups to the police, when they shot you down – all through
this chaotic phase you must have been seeking gratification that you have
accomplished in your mission to spread hate all over, but in reality, you have
made more room for love and kindness.
As a survivor puts it together
wonderfully, “Eddie did not survive. Stanley did not survive. Edward did
not survive. Luis did not survive. Akyra did not
survive. Luis did not survive. Juan did not
survive. Eric did not survive. Peter did not
survive. Kimberly did not survive. Eddie did not
survive. Enrique did not survive. Anthony did not
survive. Jonathan did not survive. Yilmary did not
survive. Cory did not survive. Mercedez did not
survive. Deonka did not survive. Miguel did not
survive. Jason did not survive. Darryl did not
survive. Jean did not survive. Carlos and Luis Daniel did
not survive. Oscar and Simon did not survive. Shane did not
survive. Amanda did not survive. Martin did not
survive. Gilberto did not survive. Javier did not
survive. Tevin did not survive. Alejandro did not
survive. Franky did not survive. Xavier did not
survive. Joel did not survive. Juan did not
survive. Luis did not survive. Juan did not
survive. Jerald did not survive. Leroy did not survive. Jean did
not survive. Rodolfo did not survive. Brenda did not
survive. Christopher did not survive. Angel did not
survive. Frank did not survive. Paul did not
survive. Antonio did not survive. Christopher did not
survive. Geraldo did not survive...
But love did. In fact, it just
grew stronger.”
Thanks for reminding us once again that life is beautiful.
Thanks for showing us how transitory these moments of happiness and celebration
could be. Thanks for letting us know that everything can change in a blink of
an eye, hence loving with all our heart is the only way to make the
best of it. Thank you for binding us together Omar. You have no idea how
purposeful this life feels. Being alive is a privilege and we continue
to live on with dignity as long as God shines his light upon us. May there be
love, love and love abundant! AMEN.
