How contemporary Feminism has become a burden and must be once in a while laid down.

Off late, a paroxysm of insularity revolving around the subject of Feminism is seen doing rounds. Whenever someone shares an opinion and it doesn’t subscribe to the general frenzy that the rest of the society is unduly enthusiastic about, why do we try our best to tear that person apart along with that particular viewpoint? Those who are in the habit of supposedly defending feminism by dint of failing to comprehend a certain opinion need to get off their high horses and hang loose. Feminism is about diverse choices and cannot be measured by the yardstick of one definitive elucidation etched out in the mind.

 Why do we keep forgetting that Feminism is nobody’s patrimony, it is a temperament which is still in the realm of speculation? For decades, women have been fighting for the unalloyed credence to being allowed the same rights, power, opportunities and respect as men. Any society that treats its women without prejudice is on the path of progress. It is only then, the state can achieve its’ set of desired goals – politically, socially and economically. Should we all not be eternally grateful to those brave souls before us who fought for our rights instead of judging each others' perspectives?

 It is not about muscle power. It is about brain over brawn. It is not about staying cocooned inside your pseudo feminist boxes and putting other women or men down on the whole – and thus seek elevation in your own stature. It is rather, enabling each other to ascertain the true meaning of freedom and equality for all. It is the realization in itself that your environment entitles you to make your free choices by means of holding a fair and unbiased approach in every aspect of life – be it the religious beliefs you abide by, the health decisions that you choose to make or the salary that you earn. 

 

Ironically, like every now and then a notion is tweaked, rather misconstrued, Femi fascists too tend to hinge on whether or not women as a race can have power over men. What is forgotten time and again is, it is not a quest for demeaning each other, but empowering themselves, wanting their gender to be treated like proud human beings. Currently, there is no dearth of misandrists in the name of feminists in the making, who are more than glad to bear the label of women who perpetually hate men. Forsooth, patriarchy is exhausting, but is it worse than the impediments that we create among ourselves by ripping each other to shreds? Give it a thought. Feminism isn't just about sticking sanitary napkins with small notes attached to it all over the college campus and ranting awareness of rape and sexism. Feminist isn't about posting pictures of your blood soaked tampons on Instagram to obtain millions of followers. It is about breaking free from the shackles of age old regressive ideals that define femininity, marriage and motherhood. Slogans are spotted, placards are planted everywhere – meanwhile, the core values that we are striving for, are compromised, stumped over and buried somewhere deep down the streets.  Like those bulls in a fight that are color blind, we also engage our girls in a helter-skelter battle. But wait battle of what? Have we wondered what are we fighting for? 

The very choice that we all get to make today, is an outcome of the sweat and blood that has been invested for years. We must not overlook the trauma, the hurdles and the hardship that our torchbearers have been through to get us here today. We are gifted with the freedom to choose our identities wisely and let our voice be heard through actions that reflect dignity and maturity. We stand different in our agenda - in the very essence that we wish to accept the equality of both sexes in lieu of mindless misanthropy. 

 Whether to juggle between our career and household, whether to stay home bound – it's a very personal choice that one gets to make when one knows how to set the priorities right. You might be an entrepreneur or a freelance or even single not pursuing anything – at the end of the day, we all are women and mothers. The method one chooses to follow might not align with someone else's, but that doesn't mean they aren't doing their jobs as a wife or a mother. On the contrary, the nature of challenges women who are responsible for two third of the work done worldwide, come across are varying. After all the toil they might still earn only ten percent of the total income and own one percent of the property! So, where is equality? Across all cultures and nations, first to third world, women are still lagging behind men in opportunities and access to resources, even while judged within the values of their home culture. Where is equitable judgment then? 

The fact is, half the time we aren't aware of what struggles someone is going through. The maternal instincts may not let you leave your child behind at the daycare even for an hour, but when you fall in the category of that ratio of women with children, who are also the primary bread earners in the family, you expect your tribe to be slightly more empathetic and refrain from using words like irresponsible and negligent. Furthermore, those who deliberately and willfully settle for a homemaker’s lifestyle that works for them, must not be shamed as less qualified or disregarded as professionally incompetent. Fortunate are the ones who get to opt between the two worlds because they at least have the liberty to prefer and prioritize one over the other. 

Having friends, associates and relatives from all sectors and backgrounds, your knowledge and experience are instrumental in broadening your outlook and learning not to narrow down your visions. The manifestations of Feminism and Empowerment are more often than not complex, volatile sometimes burdensome – always comes with a heavy price. And yes, just like a Princess Diana, a Michelle Obama, and a Hillary Clinton, we do not believe in playing the woman card and get to the front leader’s seat. We haven't learned to play the victim card either, when names such as Oprah Winfrey are there to inspire us. Each one of these amazing ladies has been a mother, has endured grave losses, yet remained their own boss and shone through the darkest of clouds. The way they have balanced between children, work and personal life is fascinating. I am glad I live in a country whose seventy five percent of the population share the sensibility that a stay at home mother can provide the best for their children when they are young, at the same time, doesn’t cringe away from offering its women equal opportunities that ultimately makes significant contributions to the nation’s economy. It's all about respecting every individual’s choice - acknowledging their dreams and potentials - and being more compassionate towards helping them materialize into reality.