A Brave Heart's Valentine Tale

Acknowledgement

My dearest dad and husband,

I wrote this story for you both. One of you came upon me by the virtue of my birth leaving space for the other to join years later and carve some kind of little figure out of wood in my mind whom I have admired as a fearless soldier for life. When I sketched my male protagonist of 'A Brave Heart's Valentine Tale', I had no distant friend, relative or acquaintance serving in the US Army. When I penned this tale, I had made no deliberate choice of a setting that revolved around the Armed Forces. Yet the images of fiery battlefield and their aftermaths kept haunting me for several nights until I could weave Ammy and Josh Morgan's lovelorn account into the real life story of a couple cut off from each other in a long distance relationship. In my endeavor to create Josh as a heroic figure, I wish to dedicate this to every ounce of commitment, chivalry, valor and persistence that I have witnessed in some of the most important people in my life. I would also like to bring this reading experience as an eye opener for those who find themselves at a monotonous juncture of their love life. The hurdles, the differences, the insecurities - I say - stand nowhere close to the delights at the same time dangers of an adventurous yet nomadic Military life. It takes an ocean of  dexterity and a lion-heart to build that conviction - That one can very well share his love and devotion between his professional and personal life in equal measure. This one is just for you my darling hubby : As I wander far from view, read, and bring me near to you. Having known how it feels like being away from YOU on a 'Kiss Day', prior to OUR first Valentine's date as Mr. & Mrs. Vasu Mallik - you probably know how much I am missing you now. Here's to all the wonderful people who believe in celebrating their faith in love throughout the year -  A very happy Valentine's week!

'Counting down the days till he comes. In spirits. The closer they get, the more impatient I become.'  Murmured a seventy something Ammy Morgan to Anna Hartmann, the biographer from Warren Morris of Wyoming, who was covering her life story. 

'Behind every soldier, sailor, marine, airman, coast guard is someone who supports them with their whole heart. This is the story of Sergeant Major Josh Morgan, my husband - a US Army soldier.'  Ammy took a deep breath. 'I wore no Navy Blues or Whites. I had no ranks upon my shoulders. I wasn't in the chain of command, nor was I the one to put my life on the line, but my job has been the toughest of all as I'm the one left behind.' Having said that, she tapped on the love pendant that dangled down her neck in the shape of a half heart with 'Josh' embossed on it. 'The other half bore my name. And followed him into the coffin.'

'Josh was 23. A true patriot, a brave man. As a run in the family, his father, and his grandfather before him had trailed their service through the US Army. Josh had the same burning desire to serve his country and followed his forebearer's footsteps. It was during his tenure at the Pentagon for a year, we met. Josh first saw me in High School, but we hardly interacted.'

Afloat downstream in her erstwhile memory bank, Anna could hardly notice Ammy blinking for a split of a second. As she continued with her narration, Anna's pen ran through the pages of her notebook.....

'Svelte, pretty and bubbling with life - As Josh used to put it - I was decent with my occupation of a coiffeur. My grandparents had all served; my grandmother was even a real life “Rosie the Riveter” in World War II. Hence I was pretty much familiar with the dynamics of a serving devotee to the nation. Both of our families connected well on patriotic grounds and we were bound to find our soulmates in each other sooner or later. We discussed Politics, Religion, Treachery and Drugs - We spent hours learning music together till his comrades sneaked into our class, whistled out to turn me pink and we drove off many such evenings to the best  pubs of Houston. Josh often took me for scuba diving and our getaways to Argentina for his Polo matches. I never knew watching my man play a royal game on horseback and cheering him on could bring me immeasurable joy.

Love started growing by leaps and bounds yet remained unvoiced for some time. The articulation was missed by a whisker. Perhaps the time wasn't ripe enough, and the National Guard moved Josh all over the globe for training. We stood by each other through thick and thin and it helped Josh deal with the stress and intensity of an archetypal military duty regime, especially upon deployment to Afghanistan. A bumpy ride as it might have been, and a matter of time too, nevertheless, like so many families of the military affiliated couples, our parents were ready to let the Morgan love birds go on from dating to get hitched in three months.

As love blossomed into a lifetime commitment, we continued to steadfast much, as many of you do for the sake of your love - without pausing to contemplate, analyze and complicate the circumstances, instead, hold on to each other to keep the solidarity in place and the spark alive. Nevertheless, in separation, the worry of war, the quandary of possible infidelity and the visions of a future though not fleshed out haunted me on and off.'

'Was it a lost trust'? - Anna's curiosity stirred up over gulping a glass of spring water while Ammy pulled out an English handy mirror from her vanity bag and looked in.

Her smile went almost adrift, and those crow's feet were remarkably visible - 'My wrinkles of a long long wait'. The scarping of Anna's scrawl stopped at the bottom of the page. Putting down her pen at the edge of her last doodle she looked up - 'You are beautiful Ammy ma'am. I would love to have those double chins and laughter lines only if they made the placidity of my countenance speak volumes like yours.' Ammy wasn't used to such compliments for quite a while. She kinda secretly enjoyed that long lost sycophancy quintessential to her existence and position in a military wife's world. She kept pushing her salt and pepper ringlet behind the ears involuntarily, that brushed away her finely painted crimson lips in the velocity of a cold November wind. 'Nay. I didn't wish to lose resolution. The distance grew and it left me cold cutting through the soul. I wish there was a phone installed in Heaven and I could make him hear the grandchildren babble through a Sunday luncheon.' Uttered Ammy in an undertone as Anna waited for her response. Anna's phone beeped in an otherwise undisturbed living space at the Morgan residence. The grandkids were kept at bay as they tripped to Orlando-Walt-Disney World with their parents. With our biographer's phone ringing, the screen flashed a thumbnail that apparently resembled a handsome young wingman in uniform.

Ammy Morgan muttered in a long exhalation of nostalgia - 'You just reminded me of those days when one satellite phone provided to him was the only means for calling home. Three o’clock in the afternoon in Texas meant 11 o’clock at night in Iraq, and every time the connection was lost, he had to painstakingly dial the long list of digits again. His only wedding gift was that he didn’t have to go on a mission that night, just had to be there with the phone, calling his girl. The call to serve his country, not all understood. But we knew freedom didn't come free. And all I needed was to hear the 'I dos'. The fate of it and that eternal vow.'  A tear droplet rolled down her cheek onto Josh's handwritten diary lying on the table. 

 'You got married?' Enquired young Anna. 'Yes we did.' Reply came. 'I and Josh wanted to tie the knot before his deployment, but due to a paperwork error on our application for the marriage license, Josh had to be in Iraq for months. By the time the bureaucratic hurdles were over, Josh was struggling for his leaves. The event hence got shelved for an uncertain period. However, we couldn't accept our fate to be deterred by a mare deployment. We decided not to wait until Josh returned.' 'Then'.....??? Anna couldn't hold her horses for the upcoming ramification. After all she knew the price one has to pay for romancing a soldier. Her fiancé was deployed in Frankfurt. 

'Ah, well...We decided to lead to altar virtually. It was a cold yet clear February morning when the spouses of my husband's subordinates and superiors assembled at my parental place. 

 I toppled in my bridal gown as Mrs. Brunswick fixed my bow and gave that final touch.

 As I was on tenterhooks waiting for Josh to get through a steady, uninterrupted network, the ladies giggled and it was louder than the mockingbirds chirping and the carpenter hammering on the Chapel door. He had to stop soon enough, and the neighborhood was shut tight in silence sleeping away a lazy Sunday. As Saint Valentine quietly took resort behind the shadow of the cross, I and the spouses walked our way through a deserted, desolate, empty street heading towards a courtroom packed with people. 

 The wonderful spouses had become an integral part of my world. A world that had to survive without Josh's physical presence. Nobody would have witnessed such a legendary wedding in a decade and the Rear D Commander made all communications that synchronized the ceremony with the soldier’s chain of command in Iraq. An army wife stood as the soldier’s proxy and passed the temperamental phone between me and the preacher. As the children hushed in amazement into each other's ears, their mothers listened to me attentively exchanging vows with a husky voice over the telephone. Words as they were, it meant world to me winding out an awesome life. With an unsaid “You may now kiss the bride” in progression, my eyes started perilously looking for the man in uniform. I wished he was there to hold my hand. I wished he froze that moment of adulation and applaud with a kiss of a lifetime. Josh didn't have to reiterate how much he loved me, but parted with the promise to connect once the gathering would come to a close. I was brimming with happiness, as if I had had the biggest, grandest Valentine wedding that Texas could ever offer. In Josh's absence was OUR momentous day present, significantly marking the beginning of a new journey. Life at last, united me with my man. I loved him to death..  

The echelon spouses clapped their hands and hugged me welcoming warmly to the club. As I thanked them in gratitude for being there, I knew, I could, at any given point in time depend on my fellow Army spouses of the 146,000 service members deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as the families of the thousands of other servicemen in the barracks safeguarding us right through the break of the dawn till the rest of the world slept in the comfort of a secure shelter. The wives in their mid forties couldn't express their bewilderment enough at a twenty year old's stamina to find her destination and dreams across a galaxy that held the two palpable hearts captive. They knew what it took to brace themselves back within the husbandless homes until the answer to a terrible 'Where's dad' was found. My body and soul heard them say loud enough to let each other know that they all sailed in the same boat. That gave me strength and the belief that I wasn't alone. I felt myself emotionally and in flesh and blood stationed right there 7,000 miles away in my husband's headquarters. The border forces delineated human territories, but love could still find its way. I had nothing to fear in flame and incendiary. But the thought of my wedding night without Josh shuddered me in isolation and incompleteness. Once back home, I needed Josh like never before. My heavily beaded wedding gown pierced on the skin and I wanted to liberate myself in Josh's arms like a new born with hopes and desires so pristine. Josh was with me that night, in spirits. We gazed at an astral sky hand in hand, and all the remoteness seemed to be shrinking in an intensely ardent delirium.' 

A wide-eyed Anna popped up asking - 'Did you two make love'?...........'It's time for my Atrovent. Please excuse me for a minute.' Having said so, Ammy cleared her throat. ' 'Sure ma'am.' It sidetracked Anna when Ammy had to take a break to fight the evil using her inhaler. 'Josh is the breath of my life. I let him be my savior. And I be his. Mere devices like this has been of great help to us at the times of ghastly convulsions. Physical, outlandish. Both.' 'Ohh....I see'...Murmured Anna. 

'I need to tell you how Josh surprised me the day before we completed our first wedding anniversary.' Ammy twinkled at Anna's growing interest and offered her a plate full of homemade peanut butter Chocolate chip cookies and a cafe latte freshly brewed from the coffee pot. As Anna took a tiny piping hot mouthful, Ammy pointed at the medals of honor showcased within the credenza of the guest lounge of Morgan residence. And she went on - 'They weren't made of gold. I never saw him agog on receiving them. They just encompassed his sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called courage. 

Three Sixty Five days hadn't been easy. I waited round the clock. Looking at his pictures didn't last for too long, letters got blood-soaked minutes before they reached him, and a web cam to watch him throbbing with life in the combat zone was a far cry. As an army spouse who had sent her soldier off for three yearlong deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, I managed to survive through many sleepless nights, with repetitive and unexpected moments of tenacity and hope in those times of war.

 By then I had befriended a military community that came together when the soldiers were deployed. I saw how the spouses rallied around the birth of a baby, took turns bringing meals to the new mother’s house each night, and left plenty of baby blankets, diapers and teddy bears at her door. How these strangers turned into a big family of jovial members frolicking on the silver jubilee of our Captain's parents, on the other hand filling a memorial service to standing-room-only after a tragedy had struck overseas - packing the rows behind the new widow with their presence, helping her to remain upright like that embattled flag - moved me profoundly. What was common amongst us all was - We all had Almighty shielding our husbands in a foreign land when duty called in.'

'Things have changed now for better. Communiqué, official or personal, is much facile. As they say - When the going gets tough, tough gets going - It was time for me to encounter something incredible. Something that was imperceptible for the mind to grasp. As a Saturday sport, I used to take Nancy, Josh's niece for scuba diving. That Saturday was no exception. As we played underwater, who knew it would be such a special moment for a U.S. soldier, who had been serving in Afghanistan for more than last one year, abandoning a wheelchair bound retired armed officer for his father back at home, and the least certainty of when he could make it to take his virtual wife's face into his palms and realize that he was alive for a secondary cause other than his country. U.S. Air Force Captain Peter Jonathan was a part of this wonderful surprise and knew that we would be there to bask in the sun. Captain Peter all of a sudden with a huge splash emerged from under the water. He wore his scuba equipment, and I couldn't have a hunch in my wildest of imaginations what was he up to. I still endear him for such a gesture and for bringing the two of us close in an emotional reunion. Appearing from under the water, he said - "Mrs. Morgan, your husband is here, reporting for duty.'' I stood motionless and mute till Josh came into view from the limpid water. Nancy swashed in ecstasy while we kissed and remained locked in each other's embrace till twilight simmered the ripples down.

That one week was the best times of my entire life. Having him with me, with all that he was, ushered my hope to a point where I learned and relearned a seraphic faith that he belonged to me. And I belonged to him. In body, mind and spirit he had put all my insecurities to rest till eternity guzzled the trepidation of death, decay and separation like a morsel.'

 Ammy walked up to the pianoforte, her withered fingertips fondled on the ivories. 'According to my recollection, I played him some portions of our wedding cantata the night before he left.

'Another week followed the anniversary night. It was time for Josh to get back to the field. I started behaving like an ordinary grouchy wife unable to handle what had always been inculcated into my system. As he wore the stars on his broad and masculine shoulders, I rebelled - ''Whether it is giving the people of Iraq electricity, ensuring the gasoline is being provided, or fighting the enemies, each and every day brings me an indefinable trauma. I can't take this anymore Josh. I am tired of my full time job to carry on these agonizing values and goals. I can't keep going without you. I need you, your heart, your body to instruct our children in the same manner.'' 'The excruciating pain of seeing him say good bye was killing me - For a short stint I had forgotten what it took to be a soldier's wife . Josh's rational retort shook me off my selfishness. I can't forget those sparkle in his eyes as he justified his creed as a soldier - ''I see not only myself but my men tested through fire. It's difficult to watch and endure my soldiers getting injured. Several of my soldiers are shot, several of them are burnt to death by explosives.”

He left me crippled to choose words. Being his wife, I knew, wasn't just a status, but a duty that I was still trying to comprehend, training myself to discharge and principally swear by. Being human became an inhumanly trial for me. Josh left. With no promise to return anytime soon. 

It was a full circle of a month and a half since we unified cheek by jowl. I was far from discerning that the renewal of life was incubating within me. I had no clue of what preciousness Josh had left behind in my custody'. Ammy tussled within herself to come to a halt. As her breath faltered and she tottered and grabbed the loveseat next to the piano, tears cascaded down her face.

 Anna gathered the wisdom and empathy to push herself near graying Ammy. Holding her feeble hands in hers she requested her to sip on some water. 'Ammy ma'am, you take your time. I will visit you when you feel better.' Water wasn't what Ammy wanted. But a sensitive soul to lend an ear in a span of last fifty years. Anna's affectionate touch felt like that of a doting mother comforting her lovelorn child. Ammy momentarily recovered and resumed narration.

' I got a phone call around 3:30 or 4:00 on a Sunday morning. It was Captain Peter. He fumbled in his speech after greeting me. After a long silence he informed - ''Mrs. Morgan, Sergeant Josh has been hurt. He’s been hurt really bad.'' My world turned Black. There was another call that I received from the doctor in Balad, and he said, ''We amputed both his legs, and I’m really sorry to inform that he is in a vegetative state now. We have very little time in hand and would like to wait up till you are here to help us finish the formalities. We can't decide on removing the life support system without the family consenting to it.'' And that was the most crushing piece of news I could have received.'

'What happened?'  A teary eyed Anna wanted to know. 'Those night-long laments for my hero were coming to an end and my sacred oath undertaken to use every means I had to encourage my husband to be the best soldier that he could be was on the verge of reaching its finality. Prior to that terrifying moment, the Morgan story would sound heroic to you. And like a dream - Raised in a loving Christian home and chauvinism flowing into his genes, Josh couldn't envisage anything beyond a devoted family and a bright career ahead.

 According to the Rhode Island National Guard and the U.S. Army, Josh was in a convoy a week ago with his unit in Helmand Province, in Afghanistan. On receiving intelligence, that there were Afghani militants who sought refuge as human bombs plotting to blow themselves up, they were ready to face the worst. Some children were seen on the road in front of the convoy, and Josh along with other troops got out to move them out of the way. As the majority of the little ones were rescued, one young boy went back looking for his mother who was still inside one of the cars activated for blitz. As witnessed by Captain Peter, the Mine-Resistant Ambush-Protected vehicle was moving towards the boy and he ran near the vehicle in an expeditious search for his mother. Josh saw the massive truck bearing down on the boy's way and grabbed him hard to hurl into Peter's and his unit's tutelage. The boy was fine but in the process, the armored truck ran over Josh. As he lay bruised, unconscious and blood splattered all over, Peter yelled his heart out at Josh to guard himself against the militants who were knocking off our officers like a herd of cattle butchered unsparingly. Josh's unit started firing back and my hero just raised his one hand up to Peter and looked at him like everything was under control. Shrapnel had by then pierced through Sergeant Josh Morgan's right leg leaving the other subjected to reiterative bullet shots from the zealots. With a series of giant blasts, metallic bits penetrated his skull and shredded his right optic nerve. In an instant, destiny turned my sweetheart to a corner that he would have never chosen for himself. Left gory, immobilized and helpless amidst the wreckage - the only solace might have been that he knew his men were safe and capable of warding the terrorists off. Peter and the unit shot several rounds slaying the enemies with equal vengeance. The massacre continued for next two days as our US Army answered with machine guns, mortars and Javelin Missiles, and by calling in artillery and airstrikes. As the Taliban fire would have put the helicopters at risk, coalition troops also encountered heavy resistance and had to clear several compounds in close-quarter combat. An estimated 100 Taliban and at least ten civilians were killed. Eight more American soldiers gave their lives away to resist further devastation that the Taliban could inflict upon, but nothing brought Josh back to life.

 Doctors operated on Josh and sent him back to the US.  Nothing could have been more remorseful for Josh than learning to live as an incapacitated man. It was a hard time. I was definitely sinking in the bottom of my life to see him gradually slipping into a permanent slumber. I didn’t want to believe my eyes, I didn’t know how to pray, I didn’t know if God was even alive, or even touched upon my life in the good old times! That was the grimmest prank life had ever played on us. I’d wake up in the morning and say to myself - I just need the love of my life to get me through today,  just help me get through tomorrow, give me the grace to be a good wife of a true hero.

There were definitely days where it was just me and the Lord ...and this was the first time that I was praying for tremendous resilience to enable me to withstand his speedy detioriation. I can not forgive myself till date for proceeding to sign on those papers so that the doctors could free Josh of all shackles of suffering. I couldn't afford to torture him more than what he could take. Perhaps I deliberately killed the last ray of hope that could keep him artificially alive. Josh wasn’t talking to me anymore. Reading the Bible to him or asking Nancy to quote the scriptures was of no use.' Plucking out one of the pages from the faded diary, she handed it over to Anna.

It read :

''Standing into that crystalline water with Ammy was an exhilarating feeling. Watching the sunset with her, stealing away a handful of galaxy from a moon lit night was magnificent. Being with her, loving her and doing everything like giving her a surprise that makes her smile, I continually discover and rediscover myself. Her unadulterated faith in me is my greatest strength, assuring over and over again that God is still with me and that He can still allow me to do things that I am born to perform. Ammy is the most amazing person that I could ever imagine God blessing my life with. Her compassion, her generosity, her perseverance, her determination to not only help me, help our bond strengthen manifolds has been the sheer presence of Almighty in our lives. I don’t know if I can explain how much I love her and how much she means to me. At first it bothered me more than it does now. We went through our struggles and challenged destiny, we started to walk back on our path with the Lord together, He kind of just covered and healed all of that to what I owe our relationship the most. I am probably stronger and better as a human being now than what I would have been like without a country to protect and my angel to hold my heart in her hands. I simply adore it when she keeps the most sensuous outfit selective for a date with me on my home visit. Ammy, I can never articulate to you in words - how much I cherish to run my fingers through your rain bathed hair.”

 And Ammy broke into a hysterical wail.....

 ''A lot of people look at the events in my husband's life as a huge tragedy, but I don’t, necessarily. I think God has given me the ability to understand Him more and to understand His purpose through  my loss. I'm proud of my husband, my country and its flag. No matter what situation I'm in, I would do anything to keep alive the principles of liberty for which my nation stands. Our motherland without her Soldiers would be like God without His angels. And to my grave I will carry the remembrance of  my hero's crowning glory. His martyrdom to defend my freedom, the freedom of all American citizens is elevated on the holy cross and each drop of his blood affirms the seed of the church. I'm the wife of a brave heart - an American soldier. In God we trust. AMEN.'

 Ammy rested her head on the recliner, closing her eyes in immense peace she whispered - 'It's your story nowon my dear. I have done my job. Let me pave my way through Heaven's Garden now. May the first person I’m going to see be Jesus Christ reaching down to me and I just hope that He rewards me with a first class certificate of a faithful servant.' 'And the second face you are going to see?'Anna queried vehemently - 'Oh my dashing Sergeant Josh!' A pair of gelid limbs crouched at Heaven's door, and the quivering voice thinned in oblivion.

Anna's book was published exactly a year later Ammy Morgan united with Josh Morgan eternally. It was their Golden jubilee, a Valentine's Day. Mrs. Morgan was surrounded by family and loved ones including Anna Hartmann at Littleton & Rue Funeral Home & Cremation, in Springfield, Ohio, on commencement of her voyage to meet her husband.